ALS Assisted Dying Disability Japan

“I at that time”, the late Yuri Hayashi, ALS patient, recounts an email a year after the onset of her condition

“i found an email addressed to a friend about a year after the onset. The condition of my body is that my legs are getting weak and I can't get out without a wheelchair.”

By Barrier Free Japan

August 19 2020

The Kyoto District Public Prosecutors Office on Thursday August 13 indicted two doctors for allegedly killing a woman with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), an intractable disease, at the victim’s request.

The deceased, a woman aged 51 named Yuri Hayashi, ran a blog and a Twitter account.

In a blog post on September 27 2018 entitled “I at that time”, Yuri Hayashi seems to recount an email she sent or was going to send one year after the onset of her condition. It seems what she recounts in the blog post relates to content of the email as suggested by when she writes “I found an email addressed to a friend about a year after the onset.”

It is difficult to tell when Hayashi might be speaking in ‘her own voice’ about the present, or when she might be recounting the content of the ‘about a year after the onset‘ email, partly because of her ‘assisted text-to-speech’ technology that makes what she recounts appear like a stream of consciousness. It may be safe assume that when uses quotation marks such as:

Somehow it became more difficult to walk than last week…”

“It seems that it’s much harder to talk than when I came before, ah

I will. Don’t take care of yourself.

Please think about what to do soon.”

I found an email addressed to a friend about a year after the onset.

The condition of my body is that my legs are getting weak and I can’t get out without a wheelchair.

I’m walking around to the inside of the house, being careful and squeezing around.

The right hand and arm are also weaker, and the nail clippers, clothespins, and switches are very hard. And the hand holding the chopsticks quivers when eating

I eat it with my elbow attached.

Apoptosis of the throat and tongue seems to be progressing, and the tongue may be tangled a little.

My breathing actually feels stuffy, so I have to undergo a lung function test once.

I’m thinking Spicy noodles is a little spicy.

I take a deep breath to keep my lungs a little softer before going to bed. .. ..

We go to drip every day, go to rehabilitation center for medical examination, welfare staff

I sometimes meet:

“Somehow it became more difficult to walk than last week…”

“It seems that it’s much harder to talk than when I came before, ah

I will. Don’t take care of yourself.

Please think about what to do soon.”

If you can’t walk at all, if you can’t talk, you can’t eat, you’re breathless

Then, when only the eyeballs move,…

And where should we meet at the end?

I have to ask people everywhere I go, no matter where I go

I won’t.

There isn’t a single topic that gives hope, and I often want to run away.

But because it’s my body, I think I have to take responsibility, so don’t run away

I think we have to listen and think properly.

Still after all, sometimes it was full and cried like a strange thing

I will end up.

After that, when my mind became a little quieter, I read blogs of patients who are doing their best with hope.

And I must believe in miracles and do my best. I can feel it again.

Anyway it looks like this. If you are depressed, you can endure a few days, and then a while ago

Turn around…

But again, when I feel the progress of the symptoms, I feel heartbroken, and so on. Pretty

Or I can’t control it myself.

Written by an American doctor who has been involved in the care of end-of-life patients for many years.

If so. .. .. I bought a book called “

How to control your feelings is written so can you be able to do it by practicing

I thought.

It’s okay because there are quite a few fighters today. I’m going to cure it.

After all, I’m finally thinking that I want to go out and meet people.

Until now, I often wanted to withdraw.

The other day, I saw a patient in a rehabilitation office, who was probably ALS. Many with a respiratory system

My limbs seemed to move no more.

I felt like my facial expression moved a little

I was asked to wipe the drool.

I thought, “Oh, I can’t do that…”.

So now, while I can still talk, and while I can keep drooling

I started thinking that I had to get out more and meet people.

So I’m about to start seeing my local friends and I can’t do anything

I’m thinking

Hey, isn’t it very positive today?

I wish I could get well in this condition. ‥

But once in a while, I wish I could cry as hard as I could and stand up again.

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