As her lung function declined further, “I’m scared to die slowly,” wrote the late Yuri Hayashi, ALS patient

By Barrier Free Japan

August 3 2020

It was reported on Thursday 24 July 2020, that two doctors were arrested by the Kyoto Prefectural Police for allegedly murdering a woman who had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, at the patient’s request.

The deceased, a woman aged 51 named Yuri Hayashi, ran a blog and a Twitter account.

In a blog post entitled ‘Dying with ALS and a conflict of mind‘, posted on June 13 2018, Hayashi wrote about how her lung function was decreasing, but that she cannot die until her lung function fails completely, and remarked on the “contradictory” nature of her ALS:

“I know I can’t die unless my lung function fails. The contradiction cannot be resolved.”

Hayashi says that:

“If I want to die early, I sometimes ask myself about the contradictory progression of the illness.”

Hayashi also wrote in her blog that:

“I’m taking…dietary supplements even though I want to stop taking them soon. I also undergo rehabilitation. If I want to die early, I sometimes ask myself about the contradictory progression of the illness.

In short, I’m scared to die slowly. The popular saying is “I want to die when I die”. It’s scary just to imagine that you are suffocating…The disease ALS is truly unpredictable. There are enormous differences among individuals…Actually, my lung function hasn’t changed much for about 4 years…I’m so scared that I try not to go any further. But I know I can’t die unless my lung function fails. The contradiction cannot be resolved.”